I will not give in
I'm this close to selling out.  But I'm not going to do it.  I will die before I do.  My mom told me I need to find a job that provides benefits.  If that means giving up the ghost and joining the consumer train than I'd rather not, until it happens under my own terms.  I honestly don't care what happens to me as long as I'm doing something I love and I know is right for me.  And right now that is here.  Doing what I do.  Right now it's a lot of things.  It's working at Disneyland.  It's helping with Jr. High at church.  It's being a good friend to folks I've loved and missed for so long.  It's catching up with old friends and making new ones.  It's trying to get our record label off the ground.  It's trying to create something new.  It's me.  This is who I am.  I will not yield for the big money and fabulous prizes.  If those come along with something I want to do, then okay.  But I'm not going to sell myself short doing something I hate and something I can't be productive at and thrive.  If I starve, I starve.  For now, I'm okay.  Like I said before, I'm just a guy, a geek, a dreamer.  I wonder at what point some of those before me gave up on their dreams and just gave in and did what was expected of them to do.  I would like for someone out there to keep me honest because the worst is yet to come, I'm sure.